“Today I bask in the sunshine of this hope. God does not ever forget His children! Pray today for isolated believers in North Korea who do not have the warmth of Christian fellowship and group prayer.”
Promise #167
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20 (WEB)
Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly
above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
After you read this promise, take a moment and try to imagine the biggest, out-of-the-box thing that you could possibly think of for your life. No matter how big you think, God’s plans for you are way bigger! The NLT Bible translates the bigness of God’s plans as ‘infinitely more’ and the NASB Bible says ‘abundantly beyond’.
No matter what version of the Bible you choose to read this Scripture in, God is able to do way more for us than we will ever be able to comprehend according to His incredible power that is at work in us…right now! When I think that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me and how that power is greater than any other power in the universe, it simply amazes me!
Unfortunately many of us limit the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives by what we have experienced thus far. If we haven’t seen too many miracles around us, we don’t expect to live a miraculous life. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit will give us the power to take off all of the limitations that we have placed around ourselves so that our Papa can show us the incredible bigness of His plan and purpose for our lives.
May each one of us open our hearts and minds to things that are exceedingly abundantly beyond what we could ever dare to ask for. Are you willing to ask God for a revelation of His great power that is already at work in you?
TRUSTING GOD DAY BY DAY
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Our Imperfections Make Us Usable JASMINE WILLIAMS Lee en español |
“Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12 (CSB)
Do you find it so much easier to give advice to others than it is to live by those same words you give out? I’ve found myself thinking many times after a phone call with a friend: Did those words of wisdom really come from me? Wow! Maybe I should follow that advice too!
Admittedly, it can feel a little hypocritical at times — needing the very same advice I’m giving out — but I don’t think God sees it that way at all. He knows that even when we believe in His Word, there are times we don’t hold on to it as tightly as we should, times when we worry and doubt, more than we pray.
But I’m reminded of Paul’s words to the church of Philippi. He said in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.”
Paul had shared so many instructions with them on humility, unity and knowing God, and then right there in verse 12, he lets them know he still hadn’t reached the goal himself!
That verse gives me hope.
While I have godly advice to share and wise words for friends at times, I know we’re all working through this together. None of us has arrived. The key, as Paul pointed out in Philippians, is to remain humble. There will be times when our actions don’t measure up to the Christlike advice we give out, but we keep pushing to reach the goal. God’s Word is still life’s perfect blueprint, even when we fall short.
Paul made every effort to take hold of the goal of knowing God because Christ had taken hold of him. He’s talking about that in-between state where we, as believers, reside. Yes, Jesus has captured our hearts! Yes, we want to share Him with others! But even in our sharing, we’re still seeking to know God.
Friend, keep sharing Christ. Keep using His words to advise and console. For He is the very best we have to offer. Will we miss the mark at times? Sure, but that’s okay as long as we don’t stop seeking Him. God knows our influence doesn’t come from a place of perfection. Rather, it’s our victory over brokenness and our battle scars that say to those around us, “I know you’ll make it if you follow God — because that’s what helps me to overcome every day.”
Maybe you’ve found yourself giving advice on trusting God while secretly worrying about so many things in your own life. Or maybe you’ve told others about the importance of a personal relationship with God, but you’re not prioritizing Him in your own day-to-day life.
It’s OK.
Realize the flaw, and keep trying.
When we stand on God’s Word, despite not exactly living up to it, we walk in faith. We tell the world that this Jesus who changed our lives is still working in us, using our imperfections to draw others to Himself.
Dear Jesus, help me to see I’m Your vessel for impacting the world around me. I will never be perfect enough to represent You, and You don’t need me to be. Help me to trust You with my weaknesses, knowing You can use them for Your greater plan. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY: 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” (CSB)
RELATED RESOURCES: Do you ever feel like you have missed out? Or wonder if it’s too late to walk in the calling God has given you? You have not missed out on your chance! Join us for our next Online Bible Study, Hidden Potential by Wendy Pope. This study will help you overcome your fears so you can be faithful to walk in your calling regardless of what season you are in. Sign up for free today! The six-week study begins June 22, 2020.
CONNECT: If you’d like more encouragement from Jasmine Williams, stop by her website here.
REFLECT AND RESPOND: Do you ever come down too hard on yourself for your shortcomings? What are some areas where you need to give yourself a little more grace?
Can you commit those areas to God and trust Him to use them for His glory?
Join the conversation! We want to hear from you.
© 2020 by Jasmine Williams. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
630 Team Rd., Suite 100
Matthews, NC 28105
www.Proverbs31.org
God’s Love is Always There
Is there something you’ve done in your past that is so bad you are convinced that God would never love you the way He loves other “good” people? Well, dear one, that is the enemy telling you a lie. The instant you accept Jesus as your Savior, you are forgiven, and there is nothing that can separate you from His love! Nothing! The depth and width of the Grand Canyon, or even the distance from earth to the heavens – nothing is too big or too bad to keep you from being His beloved child.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His faithful love toward those who fear Him. (Psalm 103:11 HCSB)
Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. (Luke 7:47 HCSB)
Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes. (Psalm 17:7 NIV)
For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39 HCSB)
Thank You, Father, for forgiveness and for Your great love for me.
This is an excerpt from 100 Days of Bible Promises by Shanna Noel and – a devotional book released by DaySpring publishing. Learn more about this book, or shop other books & devotionals from DaySpring.
When Conflict Comes
WHEN CONFLICT COMES
About seven years ago, Debbie and I bought a house in Houston. We had all the inspections done, and the house got a clean bill of health. Roughly two months into the new home, we discovered termites. UGH!! They were well established and were eating the studs out in the master bedroom.
We called the termite inspector who had failed to find the little intruders. He denied he made a mistake and did not think he was responsible for any treatment expenses. Obviously, we were in conflict with him.
A PART OF LIFE
Conflict is a part of life. No matter how closely you walk with God, you will still encounter times of conflict. The goal in life is not to avoid conflict at all costs… but to address conflict in the power and wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
Are you in conflict with another person at this moment? Is that person your spouse? Your son or daughter? Your mom or dad? Your boss or another co-worker? Your neighbor? What does God want you to do? The Book of Proverbs gives us great wisdom into dealing correctly with conflict.
1. Seek wise counsel. “Prepare plans by consultation, and make war by wise guidance” (Prov. 20:18). Get a wise and unbiased third party to give you advice on the situation. You may be greatly in the wrong and not even know it. You may be so mad that you are unable to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective. There are three sides to every argument: yours, theirs, and the unbiased truth.
2. Watch for pride. “Pride leads to conflict” (Prov. 13:10). Many conflicts are the result of wounded pride. If you at odds with someone, and your wounded pride is the main reason… confess it and reconcile. “God is opposed to the proud, but He gives grace to the humble” (Jas. 4:6).
3. Watch for anger. “A man with a bad temper starts fights, but he who is slow to anger quiets fighting” ( Prov. 15:18). Conflict and anger are often joined at the hip. When you start to get angry, you need to back off the discussion. Many hurtful words are spoken in anger – I hate you… I wish I never married you… You are no good…You are stupid… You will never amount to anything. Once words like that leave your mouth, they cannot be retrieved. Better to bite your tongue and walk away from the argument than to start spewing words of anger that may indeed damage for a lifetime.
4. Take the high road. “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him” (Prov. 26:4). It has well been said, “Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” Always be kind, considerate and respectful even in conflict. Think of the other person as your boss (even if he or she is your child). If you were pleading your case with your boss, you probably would not resort to name calling, would not interrupt, would not be disrespectful and condescending, and would not threaten. Those are keys things to remember when involved in any argument.
5. Be quick with forgiveness. “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Prov. 10:12). If you have been wronged, do not harbor a grudge in your heart. It will only hurt you. Bitterness is like burning your house down to kill a rat. It is STUPID! Forgive that person and give them over to the Lord. If you have wronged another, go to them with a broken and repentant heart and seek their forgiveness. Most people respond favorably (if not immediately, then eventually) to someone who is repentant and seeking forgiveness.
6. Don’t get discouraged! No one has a track record of perfection when it comes to handling conflict. All of us have blown it with our family, our friends, our neighbors and people at work or school. What we need to do is get up and learn from our mistakes. Start putting God’s wisdom from Proverbs into practice so that your conflicts can result in win-win outcomes and your behavior through it all can glorify Christ. Remember, “A righteous man falls seven times, and rises again” (Prov. 24:16).
Love,
Pastor Jeff Schreve,
From His Heart Ministries
Dr. Jeff Schreve believes that no matter how badly you may have messed up in life, God still loves you and has a wonderful plan just for you. From His Heart provides real truth, love and hope on over 700 radio stations each day, in 182 countries each week on TV, and is always available online. Pastor Jeff takes no income from this ministry. All donations go to furthering the broadcast outreach. As a listener/viewer supported ministry, we thank you for joining with us to help speak the truth in love to a lost and hurting world. Go to www.fromhisheart.org for more information.
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Dreams and Detours: Lessons from the Life of Joseph – Series
God-given dreams are a wonderful thing. But so often, the dreams take time in coming to fruition. In the in -between time, detours and disappointments seem to line the pathway. How will we handle the detours? Will we get bitter or get better? Will we give up or remain faithful? In this powerful seven-message series, Pastor Jeff Schreve shares life-changing truths from the life of Joseph to help us trust God and stay faithful to Him, regardless of the setbacks.
This series also includes a special bonus message by Gov. Mike Huckabee, in which he shares how the Lord used the detours in his life to lead him to destinations full of blessings and a closer walk with God.
10 Smart Ways to Respond When You’re Offended
- Cindi McMenamin
- Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
It happens to all of us. A personal accusation, a misunderstanding, careless words, or an action on the part of another that rubs you the wrong way and before you know it, you’re offended. But, how you choose to handle that offense makes all the difference – or all the drama – in the world.
As I was writing my book, Drama Free, I realized a common reason for drama – especially among followers of Christ – is the spirit of offense and how we deal with it. The spirit of offense is what causes division between people. It’s what destroys friendships, breaks up marriages, and splits churches.
The more I examine Scripture, the more I find that a Spirit-controlled person is not one to give in to the spirit of offense. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV).
Having a strategy for dealing with offensive behavior can not only keep us from unnecessary drama, but it can shield our hearts from being taken captive by the spirit of offense and becoming bitter.
Here is a strategy of 10 smart ways to respond when you’re offended.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/tommaso79
1. Respond maturely, don’t react emotionally.
Are you one who lets everything steamroll you? Do you allow others’ opinions to get to you? Do you snap back or pout or plot a way to get even? You and I can’t control what others say or think about us, but we can control how we respond. If you know that God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters you will be able to respond appropriately and even biblically, rather than react emotionally. Remember, the offense isn’t so much about how you feel, but more about how you respond.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/tommaso79
2. Realize there is always more to the story.
Much of our offense comes from having too little information. There is always another side to the story. There is always a context within which the story – or the offensive statement or action – occurred. And there is always a back story (what a person may have been dealing with that caused her to say or do what she did to offend you). Ask God for the discernment to know if you really need to hear the context or the other side of the story, or if you need to just blow it off and move on.
Photo credit: Pexels.com
3. Retain a sense of humor.
Are you taking yourself – and what others say about you – too seriously? When we retain a sense of humor, it keeps us from taking offenses to heart. It also keeps us humble if we can laugh at ourselves, along with others, or be okay with being the brunt of the joke. Humor can also help ease a tense situation. Learn to laugh about it or laugh it off. You might even find that what offended you in the first place was intended to be a joke as well.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock
4. Refrain from acting impulsively.
Being impulsive in our words and actions often leads to drama. James 1:19 tells us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
As we take time to think through our responses, we can keep from reacting emotionally and impulsively, which many times escalates drama.
Oswald Chambers said: “Impulsiveness is a trait of the natural life, and our Lord always ignores it, because it hinders the development of the life of a disciple. Watch how the Spirit of God gives a sense of restraint to impulsiveness, suddenly bringing us a feeling of self-conscious foolishness, which makes us instantly want to vindicate ourselves. Impulsiveness is all right in a child, but is disastrous in a man or woman – an impulsive adult is always a spoiled person. Impulsiveness needs to be trained into intuition through discipline.”
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/kieferpix
5. Resist the urge to defend yourself.
This step has been the most helpful to me through the years. I can lose sleep at night trying to defend my image, or waste energy on explanations, defenses, or attempted retaliation. But none of that is necessary when I realize one golden truth: God’s got my back.
In his book, Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster writes:
“A frantic stream of words flows from us because we are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding.” But, Foster says, when we choose to be silent – putting the stopper on all self-justification – we are showing God and others that we believe He can care for us, reputation and all.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/pecaphoto77
6. Rely on God to protect your name.
There is such freedom in being able to let an offense or accusation fall by the wayside with the mindset that “my name is Christ’s. And, therefore an accusation against me is an accusation against Him. And He can defend His name.”
Trust God in the midst of the drama and let the offenses of others lead you to a greater dependence on the Lord. As you do that, you’ll experience the best kind of drama – the dramatic way in which you will grow in your relationship with – and dependence on – God!
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/SIphotography
7. Remain hidden.
The Bible tells us:
“Therefore, if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 1:1-3, emphasis added).
To be hidden with Christ is to be invisible – so others see Christ and not you or me. Imagine, as you are being offended, as people are talking about you, as someone is going out of their way to make you miserable, if you were to just stay hidden with Christ and unseen until He works it all out. (You certainly couldn’t escalate drama in that condition, could you?)
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock
8. Remember it’s not all about you.
In Galatians 2:20, the Apostle Paul wrote, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Dying to self and living to Christ means identifying ourselves with Him. Surely, the offense you are dealing with is part of making you more like Christ, who was offended, mocked, and ultimately executed though He did nothing wrong.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/GordonImages
9. Reflect on any seed of truth.
Within nearly every offense or accusation is a seed of truth. Even if just a tiny one. What might have provoked the offense? Is there something you could’ve done to prevent it? Get in the practice of taking every offense to God and asking Him to show you what, if anything, is true in the accusation or offense, and what you can learn from it. This offense might actually provide an opportunity to grow in faith and better yourself. Once you have learned the lesson, let the pain of the offense go and move on.
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Rawpixel
10. Return the offense with a compliment.
Slide 10 of 10
There’s nothing quite like loving the unlovable and giving a compliment to the one who has cursed you. That is truly living out Jesus’ teaching in Luke 6:27-36 to “love your enemies” and “do good to those who hate [or offend] you” (verse 27). Heaping genuine compliments on the head of one who has offended you shows that you are not impacted by the offense, only Christlike in the face of it.
Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker who helps women and couples strengthen their walk with God and their relationships. She is the author of 15 books, including the best-selling When Women Walk Alone (more than 125,000 copies sold), When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, and her newest book, Drama Free, upon which this article is based. For more on her speaking ministry, books, or free articles to strengthen your soul, marriage, or parenting, see her website www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.
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8 Warning Signs of a Double-Minded Christian
- Meg Bucher (Megs)
- Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” (James 1:6-8 NIV)
James was straightforward about living our faith. It’s paramount to believe and accept Christ as our Savior, and part of our purpose to proclaim the Gospel; but if the motions of our daily lives don’t reflect the Truth we believe in, James warned of hypocrisy. Double-mindedness is one of the first things he addresses. “James is not saying our prayers will only be answered if we have perfect faith that never entertains any kind of doubt,” the NIV Biblical Theology Study Bible explains,” He condemns the believer who is trying to serve two masters at the same time.” Jesus warned that we cannot serve both God and man (Matthew 6:24).
Let’s take a look at what it means to be a double-minded believer and the warning signs of this type of Christian.
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What does it Mean to be Double-Minded?
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)
Double-minded can simply mean to be undecided. The process of making decisions isn’t a sin. A permanent state of indecision is. We make many decisions, every day. Faith-based decisions obey God’s word, which exists to protect our hearts and help us thrive in His will for our lives.
The necessary sacrifice to obey God’s truth sometimes fights against what we feel like doing. We fail to trust what God has waiting for us on the other side of obedience. We’re all guilty of “phoning a friend” before we consult the Creator of the Universe on what to do or how to make a decision. This is double-mindedness. Wavering too long may lead to hypocrisy.
Doubt, as James recorded, fuels double-mindedness. “To call into question the truth of; to be uncertain; to lack confidence; distrust; to consider unlikely.” These are all definitions of doubt — as is fear. Christians are to be united with Christ, being like-minded. We cannot have minds like Christ and serve the world simultaneously. Dan Delzell wrote for the Christian Post, “a double-minded life will circumvent much of the good the Holy Spirit wants to work in you and through you.”
Now let’s take a look at 8 warning signs of a double-minded Christian.
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8 Warning Signs of Double-Mindedness
1. Content of Our Prayers
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (1 John 5:14 NIV)
Prayer is our lifeline to God. Jesus died to make a way for us to approach our Father in Heaven by atoning for our sins with His death on the cross. When we pray to God, using this lifeline, do we really believe we are heard? It’s possible to fall into a rhythm of praying half-heartedly, not believing God hears our prayers and can—and sometimes does—answer them directly. Doubt, in our daily prayers, lends to double-mindedness.
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2. Self-Centered Motives
“Do nothing out of selfish gain or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others over yourselves, not looking to your own self interests, but each of you to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4 NIV)
The human heart defaults easily to manipulating and selfish intentions. Following Christ requires humble hearts, seeking to serve others. We can run our plans and actions through the filter of Paul’s words to the Philippians, and prayerfully ask God to expose areas of selfish motives in our lives. It’s not always obvious, especially when our plans align with what the world encourages as acceptable behavior.
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3. Our Speech
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” (Proverbs 16:23-24)
Double-mindedness says one thing and does another. The Bible is clear about our need to watch our tongues, not just eliminating “bad words,” but talking in a way that makes people feel bad! Our words are powerful, and can either reflect our love of Christ or pull the rug out from underneath us.
Gossip, criticism, even negative self-talk and condemnation are not a reflection of who God says we are, nor does this kind of speech reflect His purpose for our lives. It’s never the action alone or a specific set of vocabulary God is concerned about, rather the heart behind our choices in words. God knows our hearts, and the underlying intention of the things we choose to say.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Jacoblund
4. The Company We Keep (or Don’t Keep)
“For before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group.” (Galatians 2:12 NIV)
Ancient Biblical times saw cliques and prejudices, too. Discrimination, ostracizing others—all of the injustices we still battle today. In the verses above, Peter was embarrassed to be sitting with the Gentiles when the Jews showed up. The company we keep, or choose not to keep, says a lot about the status of our double-mindedness. God places people in our lives purposefully. We exist in our families and communities to look around and love all those within our reach.
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5. Disobedience
“If you love me, keep my commands.” (John 14:15 NIV)
Double-minded Christians love the Lord. It’s frightening to think we can love Him with all of our hearts, but not reflect an iota of it in the way we live our lives. Heartbreaking to think when we are pulled to any shred of double-mindedness we are not loving God the way we want to, intend to, or were made to. To love God is to obey God. Not in a legalistic fashion, but in a heartfelt way that trusts His will in our lives completely.
Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Burst
6. We Don’t Do What We Say
“You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless?” (James 2:20 NIV)
James is passionate about our obedience to the Lord, but not in a legalistic, rule-following, check-list to be loved kind of way. God looks at our hearts. He wants us to wholeheartedly obey Him, because we recognize His love for us and desire for it to be reciprocal.
That being said, faith without deeds is useless. When we love God, know Jesus and follow faithfully (not perfectly), the evidential deeds (obedient way we love the people placed in our lives) become part of our everyday lives.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes
7. Our Priorities (or Lack of)
“I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God.” (Isaiah 45:5 NIV)
God has made it clear throughout Scripture, that He comes first. Trying to live without placing God first is like walking around with our underwear on outside of our pants. Something would clearly be off. For Christ followers, it may not be as obvious as the underpants example, but the parallel to how we are to be living our lives is serious.
How can we be prepared to walk out into the world without letting God prepare our hearts each day? Putting Him first is literally putting Him first. Reverting our thoughts to Him in prayer and seeking Him in His word each day.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Claudio Ventrella
8. Impatience
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
It’s hard to express our trust in God when we’re losing our patience. We lose our patience with the people in our lives, and in situations God has asked us to wait. Patience is a virtue we are supposed to be watering in our lives. Patience with ourselves, so we don’t fall into a legalistic view of our faith, and pretend to be people we’re not, even to God Himself. He loves us, as we are, messed up and broken. He asks us to be faithful, and patient, as He daily sanctifies our hearts.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Antonio Guillem
How Can Christians Guard Their Hearts from Double-Mindedness?
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. ” (John 15:4 NIV)
Double-mindedness can affect several different areas of our lives. Our thoughts spill into our conscious minds unmitigated, but through the power of God living in every believer we have the ability to filter them for Truth. The NASB translation of 2 Corinthians 10:5 says “destroying speculations,” meaning decisions based on the free will God designed us with.
Destroying, in the original Greek text, means to demolish with great force. To tear down the lies in our minds, we must abide in Christ. The Holy Spirit, in us because of Jesus, helps us to decipher truth from lies. As we abide in Christ, we grow to love and understand God more. Our hearts slowly and steadily change to mirror His, and we get to know our Father in Heaven personally. John Piper explains, “Trust him as your all-satisfying treasure and look to him for the help to become (as much as possible in this life) who you truly are in Christ.”
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What Happens When We’re Caught Being “Double-Minded?”
“Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (James 4:8)
It’s easy to fall into the pressure cooker of sin and temptation. Jesus doesn’t expect perfection, He died for us because of our lack thereof. We can’t avoid sin, but we can humble ourselves before God and others to ask forgiveness.
Repentance is the way we show we are sorry. The effort to learn and grow is as important as the words, “I’m sorry.” We can easily slip back into double-mindedness if we aren’t willing to walk through a change of heart. We can come near to God when we have sinned. Jesus paved the way. When we come to Him with our missteps and sinful ways, He is faithful to forgive us, guide us, and grow us. This is how we move from double-minded faith to mature faith.
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A Prayer to Guard Our Hearts from Double-Mindedness
Father,
Guard our hearts from double-mindedness. We want more of You, God. More of Jesus. We yield full control of our minds to You, today, God. Search our hearts, renew our souls, cleanse us of our sins, and re-wire our toxic thinking.
Father, remind us, when we are feeling guilty for our sins, Jesus died to free and release us from shame. By the power of Your Holy Spirit do a work in us so great we refresh those around us. Replace any of our fake exterior the with trust, patience, and complete submission of our hearts, minds, and lives to Your very capable hands.
God, we love You. You created us ingeniously. Every heart calls out for Your presence, and we pray not to be separated from You for one minute. Bless all those who remain separated from You, Father, to know Jesus, accept Him, and live free.
In Jesus’ Powerful Name we pray,
Amen.
Meg writes about everyday life within the love of Christ as an author, freelance writer and blogger at Sunny&80. Her first book, “Friends with Everyone,” is available on amazon.com. She earned a Marketing/PR degree from Ashland University, but stepped out of the business world to stay at home and raise her two daughters. Besides writing, she leads a Bible Study for Women and serves as a Youth Ministry leader in her community. She lives in Northern Ohio with her husband, Jim, and two daughters.
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10 Things to Never Say to Your Spouse under Stress
My husband and I just celebrated our fourteenth anniversary. Compared to many marriages, our union is still a mere teenager.
Yet, in our time together, we have sustained times of grief, sickness, job loss, wear and tear of household appliances, buying and selling of houses, and the raising of two kids. I can honestly say, we have seen our share of stress. And in those moments of stress, I have opened my mouth and the wrong words have come out a time or two.
Below is a list of things I have learned over the years of what not to say in times of stress, along with biblical wisdom for why these words would best be left unsaid.
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1. You will be fine.
Authentic reassurance from a spouse is crucial in any stressful situation. We all need to feel empathy. However, there is a major difference between true empathy and a half-hearted, “it will be okay.” This only makes your spouse feel unheard.
Psychologists argue that learning to communicate with compassion and authenticity helps a couple grow their relationship.
Scripture challenges us as believers to be kind and compassionate toward one another, to encourage the disheartened and support the weak (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Thessalonians 5:14). These commands require us to proactively respond to those who are struggling.
Early in my marriage, my husband used this phrase, intending it to show his confidence in me. I communicated to him how it made me feel. We now have a more open dialogue when I am under performance stress.
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2. “If you only knew what I was dealing with.”
When we hear our spouse complain, it is sometimes easy to want to turn the attention back to us. Hearing their stress reminds of our own. It only seems natural to let the moment become a whine party.
However, saying “if you only knew…” implies that your spouse doesn’t perceive what you are feeling and minimizes their own stress. Paul encourages the early church to carry each other’s burdens and to do nothing out of selfish interests (Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:3). These are helpful and convicting reminders in communicating with our spouses.
3. Nothing
The silent treatment is never the answer. However, silence is sometimes golden. In a stressful situation, words might not be the answer, but presence or action could be.
When a close relative of mine passed away, my husband did not say a word to me for hours. He simply stayed with me, offering comfort and support when needed. As a chaplain, I saw couples respond in stressful situations. Some coped with the stress through withdrawal and the silence was deafening to the loved one.
Even if you are scared you might say the wrong thing in a time of stress, communicate love and support to your spouse the best way you know how (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Galatians 6:10).
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4. Anything Sarcastic
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. … Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (Romans 12:9-13, 16)
According to the American Psychological Association, research found that negative or hostile reactions with your partner can cause immediate changes in stress-sensitive hormones. While sarcasm can sometimes be meant for humor, it is often not received as intended.
When I was younger, I thought sarcasm was the use of good wit. My husband began to point out that not everyone understood me as intimately as he did, and sometimes I came across as rude.
Scripture reminds us that love must be sincere. In a covenant relationship as husband and wife, we need to honor one another above ourselves. This includes honoring our spouse with our words.
Even if sarcasm comes naturally, we need to strive to find words to build up those we love in their faith, especially in stressful times.
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5. “I need you to do ____, and _____, and _____.”
In my relationship with my husband, nothing adds stress to stress like a massive honey-do list. While tasks must continue to get accomplished, the way in which the chores are doled out can be communicated with compassion.
Before going to a stressed-out spouse, first ask yourself if you can do the task yourself. Then, if it is something that needs their assistance, remember to make the request politely and give them a reasonable timeline, while remembering to express appreciation (Hebrews 13:16; Philippians 2:4).
6. “I meant to but…”
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
If your spouse is overwhelmed and asks something of you, one of the easiest answers to give is “Okay.”
However, one of the worst answers to give when they check back with you is, “I meant to, but.” This response only elicits more stress and frustration. Jesus warns against making promises you cannot keep.
Galatians 6:9 reminds us to never tire of doing what is right. You can use this verse as a reminder and motivator when helping your partner in stressful times.
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7. “That’s all? I wouldn’t be so stressed about that.”
Even if you disagree with why your partner feels the way they feel, it is disrespectful to tell them that they should not feel a certain way. Have compassion on their situation and try to look at it through their eyes.
According to a research study done by marriageministry.org, one of the predictors on whether a marriage would fail was invalidation of the spouse. When a partner questions or negates the feelings of another, it breaks the trust on which a marriage is built.
1 Peter 3:8 lists how we should treat one another: be like-minded, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble.
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8. “Just get over it.”
Similar to the previous phrase, telling your spouse to get over their stressful situation minimizes their feelings and adds pressure on them by making them think that their feelings are wrong.
In Romans 14, Paul reminds his readers to not pass judgment on one another and to speak kindly to one another.
I have challenged myself in this area by practicing active listening with my husband. I try to engage in what is bothering him by asking questions and trying to understand his situation. This helps me better understand how he is feeling.
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9. “Relax.”
Initially, this phrase seems helpful. However, giving someone who is under stress the command or suggestion to relax is about as easy as making a toddler potty train himself. They simply do not have the tools necessary to make it happen.
Instead, a better way is to help your spouse relax by doing something relaxing with them or for them. For example, suggest you take a walk together. This will allow them an opportunity to leave their stressful environment and get some exercise.
Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to consider how we can spur one another on towards love and good deeds. What is something you can do this week for your spouse to help them relax?
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10. “I’m sorry, but…”
Compassion and empathy are characteristics people seek when they are under stress.
When you tell someone you are sorry, it tells the person you empathize with their situation. However, when it is immediately accompanied by a “but,” it invalidates everything that you were initially saying. All the person hears is what follows the “but.” Your words matter.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (ESV). This verse is helpful to remember because our words must fit our context.
During times of stress, we must remember to cover our spouses in prayer. Our words are an expression of the vows we made on our wedding day. More importantly, we are a reflection of Christ to our partner. May our words and actions reflect Him so we can be the support and comfort we need to be to our spouse in times of stress.
Cortney Whiting is a wife and mother of two wonderfully energetic children. She received her Masters of Theology Degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. After serving in the church for nearly 15 years, Cortney currently serves as a lay-leader and writes for various Christian ministries. You can find her at her blog, Unveiled Graces.
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RevelationMedia
Do You Know The Story Of Perpetua?
“It will all happen in the prisoner’s dock as God wills, for you may be sure that we are not left to ourselves but are all in His power.”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Josh. 1:9)
North Africa was once the center of a vibrant Christian community. When Emperor Septimius Severus determined to cripple Christianity, it was not a surprise that he set his sights on North Africa, then part of the Roman Empire. Among the first to be arrested was a group of five new Christians getting ready to be baptized. One of those women was a woman of noble birth, wealthy and well educated. Her name was Perpetua.
Her father came to her rescue almost immediately. He knew that if she simply offered one pinch of incense in honor to the Roman gods, she would be set free. But she stood boldly in her faith.
“Father do you see this vase here?” she replied. “Could it be called by any other name than what it is?”
“No,” he replied.
“Well, neither can I be called anything other than what I am, a Christian.”
We know about Perpetua’s faith, life, zeal, and courage from the diary she kept during her imprisonment and from writings of other early Christians.
As Perpetua and her friends stood in front of the governor, she had one final chance to offer a sacrifice to the emperor and save her life. Each of her friends boldly stood in their faith and refused to offer a sacrifice. When it was Perpetua’s turn her father burst into the room, carrying her baby. He grabbed Perpetua and pleaded, “Perform the sacrifice. Have pity on your baby!”
Perpetua refused, and she and her friends were sentenced to die in the arena.
Perpetua’s courage and faith served as a witness for Christ to prison guards and officials. The believers also spoke to crowds that gathered near the prison, teaching them about God’s coming judgment. “Thus everyone would depart from the prison in amazement, and many of them began to believe,” wrote a Christian friend who added comments to Perpetua’s diary.
Even the wild beasts and gladiators of the arena did not shake Perpetua’s faith! Her story is one of the most influential, true stories of the Early Church and a powerful one for us today.
Watch a Sample Scene from Perpetua – The Torchlighters
Over the next several weeks, we will be featuring real heroes—men and women who have accomplished so much for the Lord in the face of unimaginable circumstances.
Daily Devotion
Sharing Our Faith
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16
Dear Lord, help me to be a shining light rather than a glaring one. I want to share my faith with others so that they may come to know You. Amen
Dose of Devotion 